The second book on the series picks up with Kit and Rue Langford's daughter Lia. A delightful series that keeps getting better with each book. Love shape shifters, you'll love this book as well as the first.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The dream thief- Shana Abe {Drakon series-Book 2} 4 stars
The second book on the series picks up with Kit and Rue Langford's daughter Lia. A delightful series that keeps getting better with each book. Love shape shifters, you'll love this book as well as the first.
The smoke thief- Shana Abe {Book 1} 4 Stars
I loved this book! Set in the late 1700's, it is a story of the Drakon, humanoid dragons that live very secluded from the Others (regular people). Like wolves, the drakon mate for life.
Book Description:
For centuries they’ve lived in secret among northern England’s green and misted hills. Creatures of extraordinary beauty, power, and sensuality, they possess the ability to shape-shift from human to dragon and back again. Now their secret–and their survival–is threatened by a temptation that will break every boundary....
Dubbed the Smoke Thief, a daring jewel thief is confounding the London police. His wealthy victims claim the master burglar can walk through walls and vanish into thin air. But Christoff, the charismatic Marquess of Langford, knows the truth: the thief is no ordinary human but a “runner” who’s fled Darkfrith without permission. As Alpha leader of the dra´kon, it’s Kit’s duty to capture the fugitive before the secrets of the tribe are revealed to mortals. But not even Kit suspects that the Smoke Thief could be a woman.
Clarissa Rue Hawthorne knew her dangerous exploits would attract the attention of the dra´kon. But she didn’t expect Christoff himself to come to London, dangling the tribe’s most valuable jewel–the Langford Diamond–as bait. For as long as she could remember, Rue had lived the life of a halfling–half dra´kon, half mortal–and an outcast in both worlds. She’d always loved the handsome and willful Kit from the only place it was safe: from afar. But now she was no longer the shy, timid girl she’d once been. She was the first woman capable of making the Turn in four generations. So why did she still feel the same dizzying sense of vulnerability whenever he was near?
From the moment he saw her, Kit knew that the alluring and powerful beauty was every bit his Alpha equal and destined to be his bride. And by the harsh laws of the dra´kon, Rue knew that she was the property of the marquess. But they will risk banishment and worse for a chance at something greater. For now Rue is his prisoner, the diamond has disappeared, and she’s made the kind of dangerous proposition a man like Kit cannot resist....In this bewitching novel, Shana Abé transports us into a world of exhilarating romance and magic.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Feel like bitching? Blowing off some steam?
http://itsabitchthing.com/forum/
The above is a link to a phenomenal forum. Phenomenal in that you can vent your spleen about anything you want. Sure, there may be those who disagree with you, and perhaps there may be some testiness. But isn't this why we vent anyway? To get it out and perhaps get some feed back. There is no flaming allowed as the administrators are very careful about what's posted, i.e. no personal attacks allowed.
So come see us. We're very friendly bitches. Who knows- you may make some new friends.
The above is a link to a phenomenal forum. Phenomenal in that you can vent your spleen about anything you want. Sure, there may be those who disagree with you, and perhaps there may be some testiness. But isn't this why we vent anyway? To get it out and perhaps get some feed back. There is no flaming allowed as the administrators are very careful about what's posted, i.e. no personal attacks allowed.
So come see us. We're very friendly bitches. Who knows- you may make some new friends.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Depression not of the economy
I am sitting here trying to think about what to write for my blog. In the forefront of my thoughts is that I will soon be coming up to 2 months of having not worked. Granted, I know there are others going through the same problem for a much longer period of time. Not to be a bitch, but while I do feel for those people my main concern is me and my household. And please don't tell me things can be worse- I am very aware of that fact.
It's very disheartening to put myself out there on the sporadic interview calls I do get, only to either A: never hear back from them, or B: be told I don't have enough experience. Which is complete and utter bullshit as I have over 22 years in pretty much the same industry and 16 years doing accounting. So I'm not a CPA. I don't want to be a CPA and never have. what I do have is real life experience which you are not going to get by sitting your ass in a classroom and taking tests. I have watched as college graduates have folded like a piece of origami paper when the first real life work horror unfolds. Someone pass me popcorn as now it gets really good. See how your degree helps you out now. I am not saying education is a bad thing. what I am saying is that it doesn't prepare you for real life scenarios to the degree that you need to be prepared.
As I said in my previous post, I am taking a road trip on Friday. This trip is two-fold, as I need to get out of my house for a bit and see some new scenery and also, I want to see the area where my son lives for a possible move in the future. See, I live in "Sunny S.FL" and I detest this area with every fiber of my being. Every day more and more strip malls are going up, which will in all likely hood, rent to new businesses which will be out of business within a year. We don't need any more stinking strip malls. It's almost mandatory that you be bilingual and I refuse to learn a second language because some body who immigrated here is too fucking lazy to learn English. I was born here, therefore, I speak English. There's more and more ads placed for bilingual people, which makes me feel as if I'm a second rate citizen in my own country. To top it off, the majority of the employers want to pay a pittance, but you need a laundry list of experience. And if you have the requirements to meet said laundry list, they have the balls to tell you you're not qualified enough. It's enough to almost make me want to put a stiletto heel through someone's forehead. But then I would ruin a perfectly good pair of shoes and that would piss me off no end.
All of this has left me feeling a bit fragile, a bit like I've been pissed on and it's pissing me off as well. I have no control and that really makes me mad. So I've made a deal with myself, the next time someone wastes my time, I'm going to say something about it. Because my time I do control and no one has the right to waste it but me.
It's very disheartening to put myself out there on the sporadic interview calls I do get, only to either A: never hear back from them, or B: be told I don't have enough experience. Which is complete and utter bullshit as I have over 22 years in pretty much the same industry and 16 years doing accounting. So I'm not a CPA. I don't want to be a CPA and never have. what I do have is real life experience which you are not going to get by sitting your ass in a classroom and taking tests. I have watched as college graduates have folded like a piece of origami paper when the first real life work horror unfolds. Someone pass me popcorn as now it gets really good. See how your degree helps you out now. I am not saying education is a bad thing. what I am saying is that it doesn't prepare you for real life scenarios to the degree that you need to be prepared.
As I said in my previous post, I am taking a road trip on Friday. This trip is two-fold, as I need to get out of my house for a bit and see some new scenery and also, I want to see the area where my son lives for a possible move in the future. See, I live in "Sunny S.FL" and I detest this area with every fiber of my being. Every day more and more strip malls are going up, which will in all likely hood, rent to new businesses which will be out of business within a year. We don't need any more stinking strip malls. It's almost mandatory that you be bilingual and I refuse to learn a second language because some body who immigrated here is too fucking lazy to learn English. I was born here, therefore, I speak English. There's more and more ads placed for bilingual people, which makes me feel as if I'm a second rate citizen in my own country. To top it off, the majority of the employers want to pay a pittance, but you need a laundry list of experience. And if you have the requirements to meet said laundry list, they have the balls to tell you you're not qualified enough. It's enough to almost make me want to put a stiletto heel through someone's forehead. But then I would ruin a perfectly good pair of shoes and that would piss me off no end.
All of this has left me feeling a bit fragile, a bit like I've been pissed on and it's pissing me off as well. I have no control and that really makes me mad. So I've made a deal with myself, the next time someone wastes my time, I'm going to say something about it. Because my time I do control and no one has the right to waste it but me.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Road trip
I'm taking a road trip to go see my son. I leave Friday and return Tuesday. The fun thing about this road trip is that it's the 1st time I ever done so by myself. Kind of sad at 41, but there you have it.
It's a bit over 300 miles away and according to my son should take me about 6-7 hours. Map quest says differently, but who am I to argue. My bag is pretty much packed, my truck is being looked at on Thursday. Now all that's needed is my tune library, snacks and drinks. And off I go. Should be fun and I will be taking mental notes along the way, as well as pictures.
I think it will do me a world of good to go someplace new for a bit. Be in a new element.
It's a bit over 300 miles away and according to my son should take me about 6-7 hours. Map quest says differently, but who am I to argue. My bag is pretty much packed, my truck is being looked at on Thursday. Now all that's needed is my tune library, snacks and drinks. And off I go. Should be fun and I will be taking mental notes along the way, as well as pictures.
I think it will do me a world of good to go someplace new for a bit. Be in a new element.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Time-Don't mess with mine
It amazes me, that in a society that places so much emphasis on time, that people still think nothing of wreaking havoc on someone else's schedule.
Here it is Sunday and a prospective employer asked me yesterday if I would meet with him today at 11 am to discuss a job opening. Since I am not getting that many bites, I said absolutely. Being the time Nazi that I am, I show up 15 minutes early. It's what one's told to do to make a good impression on potential employers. It is now the time of interview, and still no one has shown up. I have also received no phone calls. Another 15 minutes rolls by and now I am somewhat miffed, but it's workable. I listen to my radio, spot clean my truck and check my watch. Yet another 10 minutes rolls by. So, I leave a note in the door and a voice mail to announce that Helena has left the parking lot and should he wish to call and reschedule, he may do so.
This tells me two things about this employer: 1. He thinks his time is more valuable than mine and 2: he's not that serious about filling the position. News flash: Just because you own your own business does not make your time more valuable than anyone else's. Irregardless of that you may think differently. Should you be so lucky as to employ me, you will get someone who thinks both of our times are important and should be respected.
I dislike people who mess up my schedule.
Here it is Sunday and a prospective employer asked me yesterday if I would meet with him today at 11 am to discuss a job opening. Since I am not getting that many bites, I said absolutely. Being the time Nazi that I am, I show up 15 minutes early. It's what one's told to do to make a good impression on potential employers. It is now the time of interview, and still no one has shown up. I have also received no phone calls. Another 15 minutes rolls by and now I am somewhat miffed, but it's workable. I listen to my radio, spot clean my truck and check my watch. Yet another 10 minutes rolls by. So, I leave a note in the door and a voice mail to announce that Helena has left the parking lot and should he wish to call and reschedule, he may do so.
This tells me two things about this employer: 1. He thinks his time is more valuable than mine and 2: he's not that serious about filling the position. News flash: Just because you own your own business does not make your time more valuable than anyone else's. Irregardless of that you may think differently. Should you be so lucky as to employ me, you will get someone who thinks both of our times are important and should be respected.
I dislike people who mess up my schedule.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Current observations & musings from the chatty one
We never stop growing. And it's been quite a growing and learning time for me of late. Being home has given me tons of alone time. And by alone, I mean for 13 hours a day I am completely alone. Not another human being to talk to in real life. I find, I'm ok with that.
As a kid, I was not the popular girl or even in a clique. I was the girl who had friends from all the other groups, but no group to call my own. While my social calendar was not quite full, neither was it empty. Skip forward a few years and I'm now married to a man who controls me in as many ways as he can. My friends are none, nil, zip, zero. I spent all my time with my children, so I became socially stunted. While other people my age were in college, partying, etc., I was at home cleaning house, watching kids, being wife. Forward the remote a couple more years. Now I am a divorced mom with no social skills. My escape is to read until my eyes close. You don't learn to socialize by constantly having your nose in a book.
I was quite content in being at home, entertaining myself and doing the things I liked to do. This seemed to bother some people, my oldest son in particular. I'm still not sure why he feels it necessary for me to get out in the world as he puts it. I do get out in the world. I just do it on my terms. When he moved to North FL the first time, it wasn't long afterwards that my second husband had a 4 month, out of town schooling that he attended. Thereby, leaving me completely alone. Just me and the cats. At that time, I didn't know about blogging or how the internet really worked. This is where a momentous change took place.
I had the honor of working with some crazy, wonderful Texans who brought me out my shell. Almost uncomfortably so. I say this because, it was uncomfortable for me to make changes in my life, like be more of a social creature. One of the things they introduced me to was Myspace. And so for the next two years, I set up and deleted an account on and off. The latest deletion took place today. And I'm very happy about it. Because now it gives me more time to work on and work at things that interest me. Like my blog at Bookweazle, which is my sister blog to this one. On that one I talk more about the things that interest me, as in books. Which is how this one started out as well, but I find myself writing about the more emotional side of me here as well as the books.
I was also on 2 other social networking sites for the whole of last week and also deleted those. Why? Because I'm finally comfortable being me. Of not having to look at the umpteenth bulletin about what's my favorite color (crimson) and who last texted me...who cares?! If your going to ask questions so you can get to know someone, ask the good ones. What makes you cry, laugh? What gives you joy? If you could do one thing in life without fear of failure, what would it be? To me these are meaningful questions. They tell you so much more about the human you're trying to get to know.
I find that I'm coming back to where I'm comfortable. I can be my insulated, home bound by choice self and yet, still have a pretty active social life. Via the net, I've met some wonderful, crazy, certifiable people. I've become more social by being less social. Neat trick, that. I have two pages on two different book sites. One I really like because no one really bothers you there. You can join groups and not say anything; or post just a line or two. The other one, well I don't hate it, but it's not my favorite. I'm waiting to see when they start letting you post embedded code on there in the comments page. When they do that, I'll be gone for good. Too much like Myspace for my liking.
So here is my lesson for this past month of being home. It's ok to be comfortable with your socialization, regardless of what others think. It's also ok if there's downtime in an IM chat that you're having with someone that your comfortable with. Sometimes it's nice just knowing that someone is there with just a tap of the keys. ;-}
As a kid, I was not the popular girl or even in a clique. I was the girl who had friends from all the other groups, but no group to call my own. While my social calendar was not quite full, neither was it empty. Skip forward a few years and I'm now married to a man who controls me in as many ways as he can. My friends are none, nil, zip, zero. I spent all my time with my children, so I became socially stunted. While other people my age were in college, partying, etc., I was at home cleaning house, watching kids, being wife. Forward the remote a couple more years. Now I am a divorced mom with no social skills. My escape is to read until my eyes close. You don't learn to socialize by constantly having your nose in a book.
I was quite content in being at home, entertaining myself and doing the things I liked to do. This seemed to bother some people, my oldest son in particular. I'm still not sure why he feels it necessary for me to get out in the world as he puts it. I do get out in the world. I just do it on my terms. When he moved to North FL the first time, it wasn't long afterwards that my second husband had a 4 month, out of town schooling that he attended. Thereby, leaving me completely alone. Just me and the cats. At that time, I didn't know about blogging or how the internet really worked. This is where a momentous change took place.
I had the honor of working with some crazy, wonderful Texans who brought me out my shell. Almost uncomfortably so. I say this because, it was uncomfortable for me to make changes in my life, like be more of a social creature. One of the things they introduced me to was Myspace. And so for the next two years, I set up and deleted an account on and off. The latest deletion took place today. And I'm very happy about it. Because now it gives me more time to work on and work at things that interest me. Like my blog at Bookweazle, which is my sister blog to this one. On that one I talk more about the things that interest me, as in books. Which is how this one started out as well, but I find myself writing about the more emotional side of me here as well as the books.
I was also on 2 other social networking sites for the whole of last week and also deleted those. Why? Because I'm finally comfortable being me. Of not having to look at the umpteenth bulletin about what's my favorite color (crimson) and who last texted me...who cares?! If your going to ask questions so you can get to know someone, ask the good ones. What makes you cry, laugh? What gives you joy? If you could do one thing in life without fear of failure, what would it be? To me these are meaningful questions. They tell you so much more about the human you're trying to get to know.
I find that I'm coming back to where I'm comfortable. I can be my insulated, home bound by choice self and yet, still have a pretty active social life. Via the net, I've met some wonderful, crazy, certifiable people. I've become more social by being less social. Neat trick, that. I have two pages on two different book sites. One I really like because no one really bothers you there. You can join groups and not say anything; or post just a line or two. The other one, well I don't hate it, but it's not my favorite. I'm waiting to see when they start letting you post embedded code on there in the comments page. When they do that, I'll be gone for good. Too much like Myspace for my liking.
So here is my lesson for this past month of being home. It's ok to be comfortable with your socialization, regardless of what others think. It's also ok if there's downtime in an IM chat that you're having with someone that your comfortable with. Sometimes it's nice just knowing that someone is there with just a tap of the keys. ;-}
Perfection
Last night, I took a walk into my backyard to have a smoke as the cat had once again hijacked my chair. The wind was cool and blowing mildly making the chimes tinkle their song. I looked up and for a moment had vertigo as my eyes tried to focus on something. Twinkling away like beacons on the horizon were several bright stars. Diamond chips on midnight blue velvet overlaid with gauzy clouds that made it seem as if the stars, and not the clouds were moving.
It made me feel so small, so insignificant, to look up into that dazzling display. We really are powerless and so young when compared to the Universe and it's wonders. Black holes that suck in matter that is never to be seen again. A Sun that would surely fry us to a crispy critter if it weren't held in check by whatever means that it's held. Stars that look fragile, as if they'd shatter in your hand, when in fact they are older than our planet. Clouds that take on shapes like a master contortionist.
We need to reconnect to the Universe and picture where we fit it in. No matter how great or powerful one thinks they are; when it comes to our place within that vast space, we are nothing compared to it.
It made me feel so small, so insignificant, to look up into that dazzling display. We really are powerless and so young when compared to the Universe and it's wonders. Black holes that suck in matter that is never to be seen again. A Sun that would surely fry us to a crispy critter if it weren't held in check by whatever means that it's held. Stars that look fragile, as if they'd shatter in your hand, when in fact they are older than our planet. Clouds that take on shapes like a master contortionist.
We need to reconnect to the Universe and picture where we fit it in. No matter how great or powerful one thinks they are; when it comes to our place within that vast space, we are nothing compared to it.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Pushing buttons
I had an interesting situation today on a forum I help to admin. It's very new and already I see trouble abrewin'. It all started when one of the discussions became somewhat heated. It was a crazy topic of sorts, but one of the people kept asking for clarification from one of the posters. Rightfully so, in my opinion. She's very quick on the draw and very well read. So I trust her when she gets a bit doggish in trying to get an answer to her questions. Apparently one of the other posters felt it their civic duty to rush in and make like a hero. For what purpose, I'm still not sure. One can only hazard a guess. From there it got quite dicey for a bit. Not badly, just a small skirmish.
Being what I thought was a good admin, I try to diffuse the situation by explaining to the wanna be hero that the person wanting clarification is A: Not mean and B: not being a bitch. She's looking for answers. And he turned round and did exactly what I asked him not to do. Don't persist with this line of idiocy. But like most people, he felt it necessary to keep pushing at it.
So, I basically said free for all. And when you fall down and go boom, please do not come crying to me. I'm honestly not sure I'm up to the task of doing this. We'll see in a week or so how I'm feeling.
Being what I thought was a good admin, I try to diffuse the situation by explaining to the wanna be hero that the person wanting clarification is A: Not mean and B: not being a bitch. She's looking for answers. And he turned round and did exactly what I asked him not to do. Don't persist with this line of idiocy. But like most people, he felt it necessary to keep pushing at it.
So, I basically said free for all. And when you fall down and go boom, please do not come crying to me. I'm honestly not sure I'm up to the task of doing this. We'll see in a week or so how I'm feeling.
March 5 & 6 List-So I'm a bit lazy.
List of things that just annoy.
1. People who pretend to be something they're not. None of us are really vamps, weres and so forth. If you think you are, please seek medical counseling immediately! While I don't question the possibility that these may be actual live creatures, I do question those who state that they are. Secrecy would be a high priority I'm thinking.
2. Snotty cashier/checkers/sales people. If you're in an industry that has the word customer service somewhere in the job description, then damn it at least be courteous. I don't want you to entertain me, just provide assistance when asked to do so.
3. Lagging IM conversations. This really ticks me off. (Not you Azh). Certainly if you engage me on an IM you should do your best to keep up with the conversation. Why does Azh get a reprieve from this law of mine? Because I say so, that's why.
4. Asking me personal questions in IM about what I look like. This is not a dating show. Why the hell should you care what I bloody look like?! And again- not keeping up with the conversation.
5. Calling me on my bitchiness and telling me I'm mean. If I get to this stage with you, you should immediately stop and think back to when it started to go down hill. And adjust yourself accordingly. I am not a mean person by nature, but there are certain things that will just set me off. Any of the above is a very good place to start, as is, thinking about the conversation at hand.
6. Putting undue pressure on me. I tend to chaff a bit with this and the upcoming deluge of terror I'm about to unleash will be spectacularly unpretty. Don't do this-ever.
7. Not having the ability to laugh at yourself. Christ, no one is that serious. And if they are, they need to re-think their life. Humans are funny creatures. We do and say stupid things-myself included. Laugh when it happens and move on. Find the humor in the situation.
8. Not being proactive about things you think should be done. Just do it already. What can it hurt? Why must you depend on someone else to do it for you?
1. People who pretend to be something they're not. None of us are really vamps, weres and so forth. If you think you are, please seek medical counseling immediately! While I don't question the possibility that these may be actual live creatures, I do question those who state that they are. Secrecy would be a high priority I'm thinking.
2. Snotty cashier/checkers/sales people. If you're in an industry that has the word customer service somewhere in the job description, then damn it at least be courteous. I don't want you to entertain me, just provide assistance when asked to do so.
3. Lagging IM conversations. This really ticks me off. (Not you Azh). Certainly if you engage me on an IM you should do your best to keep up with the conversation. Why does Azh get a reprieve from this law of mine? Because I say so, that's why.
4. Asking me personal questions in IM about what I look like. This is not a dating show. Why the hell should you care what I bloody look like?! And again- not keeping up with the conversation.
5. Calling me on my bitchiness and telling me I'm mean. If I get to this stage with you, you should immediately stop and think back to when it started to go down hill. And adjust yourself accordingly. I am not a mean person by nature, but there are certain things that will just set me off. Any of the above is a very good place to start, as is, thinking about the conversation at hand.
6. Putting undue pressure on me. I tend to chaff a bit with this and the upcoming deluge of terror I'm about to unleash will be spectacularly unpretty. Don't do this-ever.
7. Not having the ability to laugh at yourself. Christ, no one is that serious. And if they are, they need to re-think their life. Humans are funny creatures. We do and say stupid things-myself included. Laugh when it happens and move on. Find the humor in the situation.
8. Not being proactive about things you think should be done. Just do it already. What can it hurt? Why must you depend on someone else to do it for you?
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
March 4 list
Things I think the world needs more of.
1. Better communications. This would save so much time, effort, money and people if we could communicate more effectively.
2. Understanding. If we take a moment to really listen to someone, we would have a better understanding of what they're trying to convey. Sometimes it's not about the words, but the accompanying gestures that tell the actual need.
3. Tolerance. Yes, we are all different, but relatively all the same when we get to the core of humanity. It's the differences that make up who that person is.
4. 4 day work weeks and 3 day week ends. Seems a bit lopsided for my tastes.
1. Better communications. This would save so much time, effort, money and people if we could communicate more effectively.
2. Understanding. If we take a moment to really listen to someone, we would have a better understanding of what they're trying to convey. Sometimes it's not about the words, but the accompanying gestures that tell the actual need.
3. Tolerance. Yes, we are all different, but relatively all the same when we get to the core of humanity. It's the differences that make up who that person is.
4. 4 day work weeks and 3 day week ends. Seems a bit lopsided for my tastes.
Monday, March 3, 2008
March 3 List: Facts about me
I'm such a Leo. ;o
1. Age: 41 Sometimes acts like: 21 or 81
2. Eyes: Green
3. Hair: Strawberry Blond- The blond is from the sun, but I also pay for streaks. I do believe sometimes one of them took root. Hence, I have blonde moments.
4. Wears glasses, occasionally contacts.
5. I like to term myself Rubenesque. I'm not fat, but I could stand to loose a few more pounds. 100 years ago I would have been a supermodel if they had such a thing. I used to have an issue with my weight. A very bad issue. Not anorexic, but rather it's cousin, bulimia. At 120 lbs., I was badly underweight for my bone structure, but I felt I "belonged". Now, I have my moments where I feel really good about myself or I am bad, shrug my shoulders and start over. I will not make myself sick to fit some ridiculous society standard. I'd much rather be healthy.
6. I am very proud of the fact that I am socializing more. Even though it's not face to face, I am still talking with people, making new contacts, etc. via the web.
7. I am a triple Leo-Sun, Moon, rising. That's a lot of Leo for 1 body. LOL I'm not your typical Leo. I am the quieter Leo. I don't really like the spot light. Meaning, I don't actively search for it. I do make friends easily and I consider myself a warm, compassionate person. If your my friend, you'll always be my friend, unless you mess it up.
8. My husband still has the ability to make me blush. I rather like this.
1. Age: 41 Sometimes acts like: 21 or 81
2. Eyes: Green
3. Hair: Strawberry Blond- The blond is from the sun, but I also pay for streaks. I do believe sometimes one of them took root. Hence, I have blonde moments.
4. Wears glasses, occasionally contacts.
5. I like to term myself Rubenesque. I'm not fat, but I could stand to loose a few more pounds. 100 years ago I would have been a supermodel if they had such a thing. I used to have an issue with my weight. A very bad issue. Not anorexic, but rather it's cousin, bulimia. At 120 lbs., I was badly underweight for my bone structure, but I felt I "belonged". Now, I have my moments where I feel really good about myself or I am bad, shrug my shoulders and start over. I will not make myself sick to fit some ridiculous society standard. I'd much rather be healthy.
6. I am very proud of the fact that I am socializing more. Even though it's not face to face, I am still talking with people, making new contacts, etc. via the web.
7. I am a triple Leo-Sun, Moon, rising. That's a lot of Leo for 1 body. LOL I'm not your typical Leo. I am the quieter Leo. I don't really like the spot light. Meaning, I don't actively search for it. I do make friends easily and I consider myself a warm, compassionate person. If your my friend, you'll always be my friend, unless you mess it up.
8. My husband still has the ability to make me blush. I rather like this.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
2nd list post for March- I'm a day behind
Fears
1. Loss of a child- I don't believe I could sustain this type of loss. I know me.
2. Loss of my husband- My world would never be the same. Much darker.
3. Alzheimer's disease- Goddess, please no. To forget those you love.
4. Being incapacitated in some way- I'm not a good sick person. Depending on others for everything would make me scream.
5. Forgetting how to read. Therefore being forced to being entertained by television.
6. Flying
7. Driving/riding over large bridges- I scream...loudly, when I have to drive over them. And cover my face when I'm the passenger.
8. Spiders
9. Being homeless
10. My children not being happy in their lives
1. Loss of a child- I don't believe I could sustain this type of loss. I know me.
2. Loss of my husband- My world would never be the same. Much darker.
3. Alzheimer's disease- Goddess, please no. To forget those you love.
4. Being incapacitated in some way- I'm not a good sick person. Depending on others for everything would make me scream.
5. Forgetting how to read. Therefore being forced to being entertained by television.
6. Flying
7. Driving/riding over large bridges- I scream...loudly, when I have to drive over them. And cover my face when I'm the passenger.
8. Spiders
9. Being homeless
10. My children not being happy in their lives
March is list making month at NaBloPoMO
My 1st list is called: Things I have learned to accept about me
In case you haven't figured out, I'm a Leo. It's how we roll. We talk about ourselves a lot. LOL
1. I am never going to be a size 6 again. Ever!
2. I am never going to be taller. I'm 5'6" and according to some, a midget.
3. I am always going to be somewhat reserved in my nature.
4. I am only going to have 1 tattoo. Body art is pretty and I love my tat. However, that shit hurt pretty badly for me. I'd much rather give birth to another 10 lb. baby.
5. I will never understand Algebra.
6. I will always be a grey witch. Never a fluffy white bunny, never a black widow spider.
7. I will never learn to accept lies easily.
8. It will never be easy for me to just accept someone's b.s. B.S. makes me volatile.
9. I will always champion the underdog.
10. I will always be moving furniture around in my house. I get bored.
11. I will always be grateful for the people I have in my life.
In case you haven't figured out, I'm a Leo. It's how we roll. We talk about ourselves a lot. LOL
1. I am never going to be a size 6 again. Ever!
2. I am never going to be taller. I'm 5'6" and according to some, a midget.
3. I am always going to be somewhat reserved in my nature.
4. I am only going to have 1 tattoo. Body art is pretty and I love my tat. However, that shit hurt pretty badly for me. I'd much rather give birth to another 10 lb. baby.
5. I will never understand Algebra.
6. I will always be a grey witch. Never a fluffy white bunny, never a black widow spider.
7. I will never learn to accept lies easily.
8. It will never be easy for me to just accept someone's b.s. B.S. makes me volatile.
9. I will always champion the underdog.
10. I will always be moving furniture around in my house. I get bored.
11. I will always be grateful for the people I have in my life.
When the hell did this happen?
Ahh, the 40's. And I don't mean the 1940's. I mean, I've hit the 40's. I turned 41 last August and I really thought I would freak out. It came and went so quietly I barely noticed it. As I approached 40 though, (think Ninja mode-stealthy, quiet), while I wasn't exactly kicking and screaming, I wasn't very happy about it either. 40 is old man! We've all said so when we were 20 something, 30ish. Uh oh, it's right around the corner. That's how quickly it gets here.
The line from When Sally met Harry comes to mind when I think of 40. She's crying about not having someone in her life and she says, "And I'm going to be 40." Harry says "When?" Her sobbing reply, "Someday.' Someday has been here and gone for me. I now have to check the 35 and older box on surveys. The first time I had to do it, I ain't gonna lie, it made me pause. Holy Shit! I'm almost 40. When the hell did this happen?!
I have found that age is what we make it. There are days I feel 82 and crippled when my back goes out. Then there are those days when I feel 18, 19, 20. I can see my inner punk princess peeping through. Flipping off the world at large. And I want to wear the shredded jeans, combat boots, green streaks in my hair, safety pins through my ears (80's girl). Instead I choose a nice, sedate outfit by Ralph Lauren with heels and full makeup to prepare to face the world. When the hell did this happen?
I thought for sure that my ass would hit the back of my knees when I turned 40. I didn't want to get out of bed because surely gravity had taken control of my body and all things that could point the way to Australia, would immediately do so upon getting my ass out of bed. Didn't happen. My husband assures me that I am winning the fight against gravity. I think he's a bit biased and fearful of my response should he tell me otherwise. I have a mirror after all. And all I have to do is look at my boys to let me know that, Yes, indeed, time has passed. And it will continue to do so. They're adults now, and that freaks me out more than gravity. Let us not discuss marriages and grandchildren.
I've learned to accept that I am 41. After all, what can you do? Ask for a recount? Not only do I accept it, I embrace it. While 20-29 is nice, there are just too many questions and insecurities. When you hit the 30-39 stage, you start to become more comfortable with who and what you are. The 40's I believe are more about acceptance. You're more assertive, controlled in yourself. And you let go of those things that no longer matter or have meaning in your life. You also do things you've always wanted to do. When my youngest son James turned 18, he and I went and got tattoos together. Something I've always wanted to do. It's very pretty. A big green eyed butterfly that sits between my shoulder blades. Butterflies represent change. I am certainly doing that.
So, I'm 41. I still have my moments of whimsy. There are certain things I hope never change about me. Like letting my inner punk princess out to play occasionally. Enjoying slamming down shots of tequila with friends and partying like I'm 18. Being secure within myself, and wondering, now when the hell did that happen.
Enjoy being you.
The line from When Sally met Harry comes to mind when I think of 40. She's crying about not having someone in her life and she says, "And I'm going to be 40." Harry says "When?" Her sobbing reply, "Someday.' Someday has been here and gone for me. I now have to check the 35 and older box on surveys. The first time I had to do it, I ain't gonna lie, it made me pause. Holy Shit! I'm almost 40. When the hell did this happen?!
I have found that age is what we make it. There are days I feel 82 and crippled when my back goes out. Then there are those days when I feel 18, 19, 20. I can see my inner punk princess peeping through. Flipping off the world at large. And I want to wear the shredded jeans, combat boots, green streaks in my hair, safety pins through my ears (80's girl). Instead I choose a nice, sedate outfit by Ralph Lauren with heels and full makeup to prepare to face the world. When the hell did this happen?
I thought for sure that my ass would hit the back of my knees when I turned 40. I didn't want to get out of bed because surely gravity had taken control of my body and all things that could point the way to Australia, would immediately do so upon getting my ass out of bed. Didn't happen. My husband assures me that I am winning the fight against gravity. I think he's a bit biased and fearful of my response should he tell me otherwise. I have a mirror after all. And all I have to do is look at my boys to let me know that, Yes, indeed, time has passed. And it will continue to do so. They're adults now, and that freaks me out more than gravity. Let us not discuss marriages and grandchildren.
I've learned to accept that I am 41. After all, what can you do? Ask for a recount? Not only do I accept it, I embrace it. While 20-29 is nice, there are just too many questions and insecurities. When you hit the 30-39 stage, you start to become more comfortable with who and what you are. The 40's I believe are more about acceptance. You're more assertive, controlled in yourself. And you let go of those things that no longer matter or have meaning in your life. You also do things you've always wanted to do. When my youngest son James turned 18, he and I went and got tattoos together. Something I've always wanted to do. It's very pretty. A big green eyed butterfly that sits between my shoulder blades. Butterflies represent change. I am certainly doing that.
So, I'm 41. I still have my moments of whimsy. There are certain things I hope never change about me. Like letting my inner punk princess out to play occasionally. Enjoying slamming down shots of tequila with friends and partying like I'm 18. Being secure within myself, and wondering, now when the hell did that happen.
Enjoy being you.
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