Historical Fiction

I just finished reading Duchess by Susan Holloway Scott. A fabulous read about Sarah Jennings Churchill. Yes, she was related to Sir Winston Churchill and Princess Diana. In a world where women were expected to trade on their sexuality in order to get ahead, she refused and instead, made her own way. Married to John Churchill, one of the premier war strategist of that time, between the two of them they faced much hardship and seemingly unending intrigues. Sarah became great friends with Princess Anne, who went on to become Queen Anne, and towards the end, was thrown to the wayside by her great friend. Richness of historical fact and a wonderful story line kept me hooked from page one. I am looking forward to her next book I have Royal Harlot: A Novel of the Countess Castlemaine and King Charles II.

I am currently reading Consequences by Penelope Lively. Sublime is the word when describing this novel. With minimal words, Lively is capable of expressing so much, telling an in depth story with out going into great detail. This story is about three generations of women and how the past is never very far behind.

The 2008 closure post

I stated my blog beginning of this year and oh my, how time has flown. What started out to be a blog strictly about books and my thoughts on them, has become a venue for my thoughts on books as well as how I perceive some of the things that have gone in the world. Along the way, I have mourned a loss, lost 2 televisions and vented about July 4th.

Additionally I have lost 2 jobs due to downsizing and now face 2009 with apprehension and yes, hope. What will this new year bring about? We are about to see changes take place in the American government that are unprecedented. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing what our new president will bring about and what legacy he will leave. I am also looking forward to the changes that will happen in my life. For good or bad, they will make me appreciate what I have now, the lessons I will learn along the way and hopefully make me a stronger person. Strength through adversity.

I hope your holidays are filled with joy and blessings. Make memories, be thankful for what you have and ring in the New Year with gusto!

Anobii vs. Shelfari

Initially, I liked Shelfari. But some stuff popped off with some other members and I removed myself. A friend introduced me to Anobii, and I've been hooked ever since. Members of Anobii seem to be a different breed of people altogether. More serious if you will, about what they read. I don't know why this is, but I am thankful for it.

If you like to read, and like discussing what you read, stop by Anobii and sign up. It's free and very entertaining. And while I am back on Shelfari, it doesn't hold the lure as it once did for me.

Additionally, there is Bookweazle. No need to list your books, just another place to discuss them. Stop by and sign up. This too is free.

Mercedes Lackey

I have become enamored of Mercedes Lackey's Elemental Masters & Elemental Masters Fairy Tales. Each of these books has characters that have mastered working with one of the 4 elements. Earth, Air, Fire and Water. She goes into great description of the attached elementals for each of the elements and how they can be utilized by the Masters. All take place in the mid 1800's through the 1930's. Her characters are realistic and yes, there is a bit of romance. Her descriptions of the mores and thoughts in those times are spot on. (I am so glad I live in today's world.) Below is a list of her books in these series in order.

Elemental Masters

The serpent's shadow
The gates of sleep
Phoenix and Ashes
The wizard of London
Reserved for the cat

Elemental Masters Fairy Tales

Firebird (Russian folk tales)
The fire rose (Beauty & the Beast)
The Black Swan (Swan Lake)

I am looking forward to starting her Five hundred kingdoms series.

Passion: A Novel of the Romantic Poets by Jude Morgan

Amazon description: The attempted suicide of Mary Wollstonecraft opens this carefully researched, deeply imagined and gorgeously written novel about the Romantic poets, as seen by the women who loved them: Mary Wollstonecraft's daughter, Mary Shelley, who fell scandalously in love with then-married Percy Bysshe Shelley and wrote Frankenstein at age 19; the passionate but untethered Lady Caroline Lamb, who never got over her love for Lord Byron; charming Fanny Brawne, devoted to her consumptive fiancé, Keats; and Augusta Leigh, half-sister to Byron, notorious for her incestuous affair with him. Dense, empathetic, detailed portraits of each woman lift them above their iconography; even Byron, in all his famous charm, is convincingly rendered. The poets, of course, are doomed—Byron, fighting in the Greek war of independence, dies of fever; Shelley perishes in a boating accident; and Keats succumbs to consumption. Morgan concludes with a series of carefully crafted plateaus that evocatively capture the women in varied states of acceptance, ambivalence and longing after their losses. Augusta, whose appealing calm and optimism is all the more paradoxical in light of her taboo-shattering decision to sleep with her half-brother, Byron, makes for a particularly fascinating character study. Mary Shelley, clear-eyed, solemn and terribly intelligent, also emerges as three-dimensional and compelling.

My review: A sublime, beautifully written book that engages the reader from the start. I found the characters interestingly flawed and very real. Jude morgan has a deft hand with his writing and was able to bring these historical people to life in a way that made you feel as if you know them. This book has made it on my favorites list and I look forward to reading more of his works.

Another one bites the dust.

I am bewildered how I blew up 2 t.v.s in less than 2 months. Mind you, they are over 14 years old, so I am not taking personally. However, I find it funny (ha ha) and funny (weird) that they both decided to die out within weeks of each other. Yet another sign that I am right to not be watching t.v. at all. Ah well, at least books cannot blow up on you..... or can they?

Paranormal reads

I read a lot of these books. I am still rather new to them and have found I like them a great deal. Following is a list of some of my favorites, which include some of the better known writers. Let me know of some other ones I may be missing out on. These are in no particular order of favorites. I love them all!

C. E. Murphy- The Walker Papers trilogy & The Negotiator series

Shirley Damsgaard- Abby & Ophelia series. I want a grandma just like Abby.

Patricia Briggs- Love her werewolf/shapeshifter people

Laurell K. Hamilton- need I say more. Was worried for a bit, but she seems to have all the storylines back on an even keel. And even when they seemed a bit off, it still made sense.

Kelley Armstrong- Have liked her writing from the start

Lilith St. Crow- Dante Valentine series

Jenna Black- Great storyline and cool twist on demon possession

L.A. Banks-Vampire Huntress Legend. Wonderful blend of many races, religions all kicking demon/bad vamp ass. She rocks! And the new Crimson Moon series.

Jeanne C. Stein- Anna Strong Chronicles

Rachel Caine- The weather warden series. Djinn!!! This was so needed as I could never find any story lines with them
included. Not to mention that she includes a soundtrack listing of what she listened to while writing and it all makes sense.

Vicki Pettersson- Who knew super heros could be so cool? And even have good fashion sense...

Christine Warren for her Others series. This is really the series that got me hooked.

Katie McAllister- for humorous paranormal books. Wish that "dog" Jim was real. He's a hoot.

The list is huge. Shana Abe, Jim Butcher, Kim Harrison, Carrie Vaughn to name a few more.

Reading, reading and yet more reading

It's been awhile since I posted a blog about books. So here goes.

I have currently finished all 5 of the books by Shirley Dammsgaard in her Ophelia & Abby Mystery series. The first book started off a bit slow, but the series did pick up by the second book and the author seemed to become comfortable with her characters. Well done to her.

I am currently reading Gale Force by Rachel Caine. Gale Force is the 7th book in the Weather Warden series and the series as a whole is written quite well and highly entertaining. I have waiting in the wings Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Myer. I am neither on team Edward or Team Jacob as I don't care who Bella ends up with. Bella at times annoys the hell out of me and I wish one of them would just shake her til her eyes roll back in her head. But the plot is interesting, so there you go. It's why I keep reading them. Kelley Armstrong's a favorite writer of mine, so I could not pass up her new YA The Summoning. Very glad I didn't. Her younger characters are as realistic as her adult characters. Well, as much as one can be with super powers.

I am also trying to still kick start my classics reading to no avail. Perhaps the weather has something to do with that. I will get at least one read before the end of the year. Perhaps I'll make it one of my new year resolutions.

Happy reading!

When the television dies..

My t.v. has gone on the fritz. I have access to another one, but to be honest, I am enjoying my time away from it. Not to mention that t.v.'s are so expensive, as all they sell nowadays is flat screens. So I have had to take my entertainment from other places. Like for instance, reading. Not that I watched much to begin with...usually Sunday's I watched some sort of mindless entertainment whilst doing the housework, laundry, etc. Not anymore. Over the past couple weeks I've read some very good books. Had my t.v. not gone on the fritz, it would have been awhile before I got to them. And between the couple of challenges I am embarking on, I should be quite busy over the summer.

Additionally, I have discovered scrap booking. That's quite enjoyable as well. Looking through old pictures of loved ones far away and no longer with us. I watch as my children go from infant to grown men...all over again. Putting pictures together to tell small stories. Being creative.

And it has given me some time to really connect with the new cat, formerly known as Angus-forever known now as Forest or Gump. I have never met a cat that is so, well, stupid. He's the only cat I know who trips over his own feet. Which makes me laugh so hard. Poor thing. But he's also quite loving. He will stretch himself up on my leg to be picked up and cuddled. Trust me, the diva known as ChinaMoon would never do this. It's beneath her. So Gump spends a lot of time cuddled up on me whilst I read. I find I like that. And I also like him and am growing quite fond of him. Still not orange, still not magickal, but he is in a class all his own.

I am enjoying myself away from the idiot box. And I may never replace it.

Angus- the new cat on our block

He came by his name in a funny, odd way. His fur reminds me of a cow hide. And I was listening to Thunderstruck by AC/DC after I first met him. So Angus he became. Sweet tempered and a beta male, he loves nothing more than to be cuddled and loved on. Problem is... he's not Hobbs, he's not orange, mean, and well, he's a pussy. No pun intended. Poor baby. We got him for ChinaMoon as she stopped eating and spent 2 weeks crying after we lost Hobbs. I wasn't ready to lose another cat, so enter Angus. I was not, and in reality, still am not ready for this cat.

My heart is till hurting, I still cry for Hobbs, although not as much, but the aching void is still there. And Angus can't fill it. To be fair, he shouldn't have too. Angus is not a kitten, he's about 18 months old and as unfamiliar to me as I am to him. Had I gotten him as a kitten, he would have been mommied and therefore been my kitty. Don't get me wrong. I would never hurt or take less than the best care of him. I pet him and cuddle him, but he's not mine. I can't seem to drop the wall and let him in no matter how much I try. So thank goodness for my husband, who was not as attached to Hobbs as I was, and still am. Angus has picked up on this and goes to him for love and assurance. ChinaMoon and I, while we tolerate him, he will be a long time in becoming part of the shadow posse, if ever. An orange ghost still follows me with her (not literally) and I still sometimes hear his meow.

And Angus, like ChinaMoon, is a magickal dud. Which just sucks for me big time. I need, want and like that interaction with a familiar. I may need to get a third cat eventually. One of my choosing, when I'm ready. But for the time being, I will have to be content with the two pieces of lap candy I am currently residing with.

Happiness is a good book and a comfy place to read it.

And I do everything I can to make myself happy. Last week was the week from HELL! Expensive plumbing problem (fixed), child in a car accident (he's fine. the car still has a bit to go.), work pressures from idiot people who go into business with out a clue and then expect you to pull a miracle out of thin air... (it's gonna cost you dude. get real). So at the end of the week your girl here was exhausted, shot out and in major need of some R & R. Looking around my office/dressing space, I realized I have no where to sit in there that's comfy, a nook, a cranny, a reading space. Enter Pier 1.

I love Pier 1. It smells good, has pretty things and I drool every time I go in there. I wanty, I likey but it's ridiculously over priced. However, this time around, I went in on a mission. (Cue music) I entered and zoomed right for the papsans. I used to have one until it was taken over by large brat child who took it with him to new home. Hey, he broke it in to fit his ass and it wouldn't have been comfortable for me. So I let him take it. Anywho, there they were, pretty new papasans with gorgeous bright fabrics and comfy pillows galore. I fell into shiny object mode right away. And they were on sale. Who says comfort has to cost a pretty penny?

Needless to say I bought one with matching stool and 2 pillows. I came home rearranged my room a bit so it fits right under the front windows for the diffused light. Set it up, took a shower, got a snack, drink and current book and settled in. Whereupon, I promptly fell asleep. It was a good nap too. Short, but good. As soon as the brat gets himself back home, I can settle more into my space. And I for one, can't wait. The siren call of a comfortable reading spot with a good book=bliss.

Mothers

With Mother's Day right around the corner (Sunday), obviously it's time to honor the one who gave birth to you. But what do you do if you detest the one who gave birth to you? And what if, say, she was replaced with a horrid Step monster? Well, do what I do. Honor yourself if you're a mum. If you overcame the horrid parenting that was, unfortunately, your luck to have, then I say honor yourself. Granted the majority of us probably came from a somewhat dysfunctional family. And like many of my friends and others I know, we survived. To become better parents hopefully. It's a hard job being a mom. whether you work or not. Frankly, having been both a working mom and a stay at home mom, I preferred the working mom scene. Yes, it was difficult juggling, sorting, etc. But at least it kept you from going insane and you got some adult conversation to boot. Course, back then, most of us didn't have the internet, so chances are, many moms are logged into forums, etc. and keeping up with what's new in the world.

Either way, happy mother's day to the moms of the world who make it all good in their children's worlds.

For my cat Hobbs

I have two cats. One named Hobbs and one named ChinaMoon. Hobbs is an orange male tabby that I have had for almost 13 years. In the last two weeks I have watched him go from a healthy, older cat to an unhealthy, losing his hair older cat. I have been to vets and emergency clinics and they all tell me the same thing-he is old and he is dying. And I feel as if a part of me is wasting away as well. Now I am faced with euthanizing a cat who has been a part of my family for a very long time.

While ChinaMoon is your typical feline, Hobbs is so much more than to me. He is also my familiar who has taken part in many rituals. Together, he and I have accomplished some magickal workings that were quite intense and well, magical. I can't begin to fathom how I will proceed in my endeavors without him. I just know I will, but they will be missing a key player. Animals become a part of the family. They make us laugh, they make us cry. They give unconditional love and we become a part of their pact, or in the case of cats, their pards.

I know I will go on without him, but it's going to be a very bumpy ride for a bit. He has been my protector, my confidant, my solace when lonely. His fur has absorbed countless tears. And his ears should be bald for all the strokes they have received from me. But he is kind of a mean ass cat and will only tolerate that so much, except for recently. Of late he has been showing me a lot of affection. And that tells me right there that somethings wrong with him. It's almost as if he's saying goodbye to me. I am so happy to have been his pet. LOL His waitstaff, "bathroom" cleaner and blanket washer. Goddess of catnip and lost toys.

I'm going to miss you my furry friend.

Opinionated people

I like when people have an opinion and stick to it. Nothing you or anyone else can say will make them change their minds. At times, it seems a bit tunnel visioned, but, I like their sticking to it mentality.

The It's a bitch thing forum (www.itsabitchthing.com/forum) has just those kinds of people on there. Everyone expressing their opinions on several threads....amazing. And aside from the rare ass, nothing flames up and causes problems between members. We actually are a very tight knit group for being spread out worldwide. But we enjoy when we get sassy opinionated new members who join in the fun.

Come join us and see for yourself.

The dream thief- Shana Abe {Drakon series-Book 2} 4 stars

The second book on the series picks up with Kit and Rue Langford's daughter Lia. A delightful series that keeps getting better with each book. Love shape shifters, you'll love this book as well as the first.

The smoke thief- Shana Abe {Book 1} 4 Stars

I loved this book! Set in the late 1700's, it is a story of the Drakon, humanoid dragons that live very secluded from the Others (regular people). Like wolves, the drakon mate for life.

Book Description:
For centuries they’ve lived in secret among northern England’s green and misted hills. Creatures of extraordinary beauty, power, and sensuality, they possess the ability to shape-shift from human to dragon and back again. Now their secret–and their survival–is threatened by a temptation that will break every boundary....

Dubbed the Smoke Thief, a daring jewel thief is confounding the London police. His wealthy victims claim the master burglar can walk through walls and vanish into thin air. But Christoff, the charismatic Marquess of Langford, knows the truth: the thief is no ordinary human but a “runner” who’s fled Darkfrith without permission. As Alpha leader of the dra´kon, it’s Kit’s duty to capture the fugitive before the secrets of the tribe are revealed to mortals. But not even Kit suspects that the Smoke Thief could be a woman.

Clarissa Rue Hawthorne knew her dangerous exploits would attract the attention of the dra´kon. But she didn’t expect Christoff himself to come to London, dangling the tribe’s most valuable jewel–the Langford Diamond–as bait. For as long as she could remember, Rue had lived the life of a halfling–half dra´kon, half mortal–and an outcast in both worlds. She’d always loved the handsome and willful Kit from the only place it was safe: from afar. But now she was no longer the shy, timid girl she’d once been. She was the first woman capable of making the Turn in four generations. So why did she still feel the same dizzying sense of vulnerability whenever he was near?

From the moment he saw her, Kit knew that the alluring and powerful beauty was every bit his Alpha equal and destined to be his bride. And by the harsh laws of the dra´kon, Rue knew that she was the property of the marquess. But they will risk banishment and worse for a chance at something greater. For now Rue is his prisoner, the diamond has disappeared, and she’s made the kind of dangerous proposition a man like Kit cannot resist....In this bewitching novel, Shana Abé transports us into a world of exhilarating romance and magic.

Feel like bitching? Blowing off some steam?

http://itsabitchthing.com/forum/

The above is a link to a phenomenal forum. Phenomenal in that you can vent your spleen about anything you want. Sure, there may be those who disagree with you, and perhaps there may be some testiness. But isn't this why we vent anyway? To get it out and perhaps get some feed back. There is no flaming allowed as the administrators are very careful about what's posted, i.e. no personal attacks allowed.

So come see us. We're very friendly bitches. Who knows- you may make some new friends.

Depression not of the economy

I am sitting here trying to think about what to write for my blog. In the forefront of my thoughts is that I will soon be coming up to 2 months of having not worked. Granted, I know there are others going through the same problem for a much longer period of time. Not to be a bitch, but while I do feel for those people my main concern is me and my household. And please don't tell me things can be worse- I am very aware of that fact.

It's very disheartening to put myself out there on the sporadic interview calls I do get, only to either A: never hear back from them, or B: be told I don't have enough experience. Which is complete and utter bullshit as I have over 22 years in pretty much the same industry and 16 years doing accounting. So I'm not a CPA. I don't want to be a CPA and never have. what I do have is real life experience which you are not going to get by sitting your ass in a classroom and taking tests. I have watched as college graduates have folded like a piece of origami paper when the first real life work horror unfolds. Someone pass me popcorn as now it gets really good. See how your degree helps you out now. I am not saying education is a bad thing. what I am saying is that it doesn't prepare you for real life scenarios to the degree that you need to be prepared.

As I said in my previous post, I am taking a road trip on Friday. This trip is two-fold, as I need to get out of my house for a bit and see some new scenery and also, I want to see the area where my son lives for a possible move in the future. See, I live in "Sunny S.FL" and I detest this area with every fiber of my being. Every day more and more strip malls are going up, which will in all likely hood, rent to new businesses which will be out of business within a year. We don't need any more stinking strip malls. It's almost mandatory that you be bilingual and I refuse to learn a second language because some body who immigrated here is too fucking lazy to learn English. I was born here, therefore, I speak English. There's more and more ads placed for bilingual people, which makes me feel as if I'm a second rate citizen in my own country. To top it off, the majority of the employers want to pay a pittance, but you need a laundry list of experience. And if you have the requirements to meet said laundry list, they have the balls to tell you you're not qualified enough. It's enough to almost make me want to put a stiletto heel through someone's forehead. But then I would ruin a perfectly good pair of shoes and that would piss me off no end.

All of this has left me feeling a bit fragile, a bit like I've been pissed on and it's pissing me off as well. I have no control and that really makes me mad. So I've made a deal with myself, the next time someone wastes my time, I'm going to say something about it. Because my time I do control and no one has the right to waste it but me.

Road trip

I'm taking a road trip to go see my son. I leave Friday and return Tuesday. The fun thing about this road trip is that it's the 1st time I ever done so by myself. Kind of sad at 41, but there you have it.

It's a bit over 300 miles away and according to my son should take me about 6-7 hours. Map quest says differently, but who am I to argue. My bag is pretty much packed, my truck is being looked at on Thursday. Now all that's needed is my tune library, snacks and drinks. And off I go. Should be fun and I will be taking mental notes along the way, as well as pictures.

I think it will do me a world of good to go someplace new for a bit. Be in a new element.

Time-Don't mess with mine

It amazes me, that in a society that places so much emphasis on time, that people still think nothing of wreaking havoc on someone else's schedule.

Here it is Sunday and a prospective employer asked me yesterday if I would meet with him today at 11 am to discuss a job opening. Since I am not getting that many bites, I said absolutely. Being the time Nazi that I am, I show up 15 minutes early. It's what one's told to do to make a good impression on potential employers. It is now the time of interview, and still no one has shown up. I have also received no phone calls. Another 15 minutes rolls by and now I am somewhat miffed, but it's workable. I listen to my radio, spot clean my truck and check my watch. Yet another 10 minutes rolls by. So, I leave a note in the door and a voice mail to announce that Helena has left the parking lot and should he wish to call and reschedule, he may do so.

This tells me two things about this employer: 1. He thinks his time is more valuable than mine and 2: he's not that serious about filling the position. News flash: Just because you own your own business does not make your time more valuable than anyone else's. Irregardless of that you may think differently. Should you be so lucky as to employ me, you will get someone who thinks both of our times are important and should be respected.

I dislike people who mess up my schedule.

Current observations & musings from the chatty one

We never stop growing. And it's been quite a growing and learning time for me of late. Being home has given me tons of alone time. And by alone, I mean for 13 hours a day I am completely alone. Not another human being to talk to in real life. I find, I'm ok with that.

As a kid, I was not the popular girl or even in a clique. I was the girl who had friends from all the other groups, but no group to call my own. While my social calendar was not quite full, neither was it empty. Skip forward a few years and I'm now married to a man who controls me in as many ways as he can. My friends are none, nil, zip, zero. I spent all my time with my children, so I became socially stunted. While other people my age were in college, partying, etc., I was at home cleaning house, watching kids, being wife. Forward the remote a couple more years. Now I am a divorced mom with no social skills. My escape is to read until my eyes close. You don't learn to socialize by constantly having your nose in a book.

I was quite content in being at home, entertaining myself and doing the things I liked to do. This seemed to bother some people, my oldest son in particular. I'm still not sure why he feels it necessary for me to get out in the world as he puts it. I do get out in the world. I just do it on my terms. When he moved to North FL the first time, it wasn't long afterwards that my second husband had a 4 month, out of town schooling that he attended. Thereby, leaving me completely alone. Just me and the cats. At that time, I didn't know about blogging or how the internet really worked. This is where a momentous change took place.

I had the honor of working with some crazy, wonderful Texans who brought me out my shell. Almost uncomfortably so. I say this because, it was uncomfortable for me to make changes in my life, like be more of a social creature. One of the things they introduced me to was Myspace. And so for the next two years, I set up and deleted an account on and off. The latest deletion took place today. And I'm very happy about it. Because now it gives me more time to work on and work at things that interest me. Like my blog at Bookweazle, which is my sister blog to this one. On that one I talk more about the things that interest me, as in books. Which is how this one started out as well, but I find myself writing about the more emotional side of me here as well as the books.

I was also on 2 other social networking sites for the whole of last week and also deleted those. Why? Because I'm finally comfortable being me. Of not having to look at the umpteenth bulletin about what's my favorite color (crimson) and who last texted me...who cares?! If your going to ask questions so you can get to know someone, ask the good ones. What makes you cry, laugh? What gives you joy? If you could do one thing in life without fear of failure, what would it be? To me these are meaningful questions. They tell you so much more about the human you're trying to get to know.

I find that I'm coming back to where I'm comfortable. I can be my insulated, home bound by choice self and yet, still have a pretty active social life. Via the net, I've met some wonderful, crazy, certifiable people. I've become more social by being less social. Neat trick, that. I have two pages on two different book sites. One I really like because no one really bothers you there. You can join groups and not say anything; or post just a line or two. The other one, well I don't hate it, but it's not my favorite. I'm waiting to see when they start letting you post embedded code on there in the comments page. When they do that, I'll be gone for good. Too much like Myspace for my liking.

So here is my lesson for this past month of being home. It's ok to be comfortable with your socialization, regardless of what others think. It's also ok if there's downtime in an IM chat that you're having with someone that your comfortable with. Sometimes it's nice just knowing that someone is there with just a tap of the keys. ;-}

Perfection

Last night, I took a walk into my backyard to have a smoke as the cat had once again hijacked my chair. The wind was cool and blowing mildly making the chimes tinkle their song. I looked up and for a moment had vertigo as my eyes tried to focus on something. Twinkling away like beacons on the horizon were several bright stars. Diamond chips on midnight blue velvet overlaid with gauzy clouds that made it seem as if the stars, and not the clouds were moving.

It made me feel so small, so insignificant, to look up into that dazzling display. We really are powerless and so young when compared to the Universe and it's wonders. Black holes that suck in matter that is never to be seen again. A Sun that would surely fry us to a crispy critter if it weren't held in check by whatever means that it's held. Stars that look fragile, as if they'd shatter in your hand, when in fact they are older than our planet. Clouds that take on shapes like a master contortionist.

We need to reconnect to the Universe and picture where we fit it in. No matter how great or powerful one thinks they are; when it comes to our place within that vast space, we are nothing compared to it.

Pushing buttons

I had an interesting situation today on a forum I help to admin. It's very new and already I see trouble abrewin'. It all started when one of the discussions became somewhat heated. It was a crazy topic of sorts, but one of the people kept asking for clarification from one of the posters. Rightfully so, in my opinion. She's very quick on the draw and very well read. So I trust her when she gets a bit doggish in trying to get an answer to her questions. Apparently one of the other posters felt it their civic duty to rush in and make like a hero. For what purpose, I'm still not sure. One can only hazard a guess. From there it got quite dicey for a bit. Not badly, just a small skirmish.

Being what I thought was a good admin, I try to diffuse the situation by explaining to the wanna be hero that the person wanting clarification is A: Not mean and B: not being a bitch. She's looking for answers. And he turned round and did exactly what I asked him not to do. Don't persist with this line of idiocy. But like most people, he felt it necessary to keep pushing at it.

So, I basically said free for all. And when you fall down and go boom, please do not come crying to me. I'm honestly not sure I'm up to the task of doing this. We'll see in a week or so how I'm feeling.

March 5 & 6 List-So I'm a bit lazy.

List of things that just annoy.

1. People who pretend to be something they're not. None of us are really vamps, weres and so forth. If you think you are, please seek medical counseling immediately! While I don't question the possibility that these may be actual live creatures, I do question those who state that they are. Secrecy would be a high priority I'm thinking.

2. Snotty cashier/checkers/sales people. If you're in an industry that has the word customer service somewhere in the job description, then damn it at least be courteous. I don't want you to entertain me, just provide assistance when asked to do so.

3. Lagging IM conversations. This really ticks me off. (Not you Azh). Certainly if you engage me on an IM you should do your best to keep up with the conversation. Why does Azh get a reprieve from this law of mine? Because I say so, that's why.

4. Asking me personal questions in IM about what I look like. This is not a dating show. Why the hell should you care what I bloody look like?! And again- not keeping up with the conversation.

5. Calling me on my bitchiness and telling me I'm mean. If I get to this stage with you, you should immediately stop and think back to when it started to go down hill. And adjust yourself accordingly. I am not a mean person by nature, but there are certain things that will just set me off. Any of the above is a very good place to start, as is, thinking about the conversation at hand.

6. Putting undue pressure on me. I tend to chaff a bit with this and the upcoming deluge of terror I'm about to unleash will be spectacularly unpretty. Don't do this-ever.

7. Not having the ability to laugh at yourself. Christ, no one is that serious. And if they are, they need to re-think their life. Humans are funny creatures. We do and say stupid things-myself included. Laugh when it happens and move on. Find the humor in the situation.

8. Not being proactive about things you think should be done. Just do it already. What can it hurt? Why must you depend on someone else to do it for you?

March 4 list

Things I think the world needs more of.

1. Better communications. This would save so much time, effort, money and people if we could communicate more effectively.

2. Understanding. If we take a moment to really listen to someone, we would have a better understanding of what they're trying to convey. Sometimes it's not about the words, but the accompanying gestures that tell the actual need.

3. Tolerance. Yes, we are all different, but relatively all the same when we get to the core of humanity. It's the differences that make up who that person is.

4. 4 day work weeks and 3 day week ends. Seems a bit lopsided for my tastes.

March 3 List: Facts about me

I'm such a Leo. ;o

1. Age: 41 Sometimes acts like: 21 or 81
2. Eyes: Green
3. Hair: Strawberry Blond- The blond is from the sun, but I also pay for streaks. I do believe sometimes one of them took root. Hence, I have blonde moments.
4. Wears glasses, occasionally contacts.
5. I like to term myself Rubenesque. I'm not fat, but I could stand to loose a few more pounds. 100 years ago I would have been a supermodel if they had such a thing. I used to have an issue with my weight. A very bad issue. Not anorexic, but rather it's cousin, bulimia. At 120 lbs., I was badly underweight for my bone structure, but I felt I "belonged". Now, I have my moments where I feel really good about myself or I am bad, shrug my shoulders and start over. I will not make myself sick to fit some ridiculous society standard. I'd much rather be healthy.
6. I am very proud of the fact that I am socializing more. Even though it's not face to face, I am still talking with people, making new contacts, etc. via the web.
7. I am a triple Leo-Sun, Moon, rising. That's a lot of Leo for 1 body. LOL I'm not your typical Leo. I am the quieter Leo. I don't really like the spot light. Meaning, I don't actively search for it. I do make friends easily and I consider myself a warm, compassionate person. If your my friend, you'll always be my friend, unless you mess it up.
8. My husband still has the ability to make me blush. I rather like this.

2nd list post for March- I'm a day behind

Fears

1. Loss of a child- I don't believe I could sustain this type of loss. I know me.
2. Loss of my husband- My world would never be the same. Much darker.
3. Alzheimer's disease- Goddess, please no. To forget those you love.
4. Being incapacitated in some way- I'm not a good sick person. Depending on others for everything would make me scream.
5. Forgetting how to read. Therefore being forced to being entertained by television.
6. Flying
7. Driving/riding over large bridges- I scream...loudly, when I have to drive over them. And cover my face when I'm the passenger.
8. Spiders
9. Being homeless
10. My children not being happy in their lives

March is list making month at NaBloPoMO

My 1st list is called: Things I have learned to accept about me

In case you haven't figured out, I'm a Leo. It's how we roll. We talk about ourselves a lot. LOL

1. I am never going to be a size 6 again. Ever!
2. I am never going to be taller. I'm 5'6" and according to some, a midget.
3. I am always going to be somewhat reserved in my nature.
4. I am only going to have 1 tattoo. Body art is pretty and I love my tat. However, that shit hurt pretty badly for me. I'd much rather give birth to another 10 lb. baby.
5. I will never understand Algebra.
6. I will always be a grey witch. Never a fluffy white bunny, never a black widow spider.
7. I will never learn to accept lies easily.
8. It will never be easy for me to just accept someone's b.s. B.S. makes me volatile.
9. I will always champion the underdog.
10. I will always be moving furniture around in my house. I get bored.
11. I will always be grateful for the people I have in my life.

When the hell did this happen?

Ahh, the 40's. And I don't mean the 1940's. I mean, I've hit the 40's. I turned 41 last August and I really thought I would freak out. It came and went so quietly I barely noticed it. As I approached 40 though, (think Ninja mode-stealthy, quiet), while I wasn't exactly kicking and screaming, I wasn't very happy about it either. 40 is old man! We've all said so when we were 20 something, 30ish. Uh oh, it's right around the corner. That's how quickly it gets here.

The line from When Sally met Harry comes to mind when I think of 40. She's crying about not having someone in her life and she says, "And I'm going to be 40." Harry says "When?" Her sobbing reply, "Someday.' Someday has been here and gone for me. I now have to check the 35 and older box on surveys. The first time I had to do it, I ain't gonna lie, it made me pause. Holy Shit! I'm almost 40. When the hell did this happen?!

I have found that age is what we make it. There are days I feel 82 and crippled when my back goes out. Then there are those days when I feel 18, 19, 20. I can see my inner punk princess peeping through. Flipping off the world at large. And I want to wear the shredded jeans, combat boots, green streaks in my hair, safety pins through my ears (80's girl). Instead I choose a nice, sedate outfit by Ralph Lauren with heels and full makeup to prepare to face the world. When the hell did this happen?

I thought for sure that my ass would hit the back of my knees when I turned 40. I didn't want to get out of bed because surely gravity had taken control of my body and all things that could point the way to Australia, would immediately do so upon getting my ass out of bed. Didn't happen. My husband assures me that I am winning the fight against gravity. I think he's a bit biased and fearful of my response should he tell me otherwise. I have a mirror after all. And all I have to do is look at my boys to let me know that, Yes, indeed, time has passed. And it will continue to do so. They're adults now, and that freaks me out more than gravity. Let us not discuss marriages and grandchildren.

I've learned to accept that I am 41. After all, what can you do? Ask for a recount? Not only do I accept it, I embrace it. While 20-29 is nice, there are just too many questions and insecurities. When you hit the 30-39 stage, you start to become more comfortable with who and what you are. The 40's I believe are more about acceptance. You're more assertive, controlled in yourself. And you let go of those things that no longer matter or have meaning in your life. You also do things you've always wanted to do. When my youngest son James turned 18, he and I went and got tattoos together. Something I've always wanted to do. It's very pretty. A big green eyed butterfly that sits between my shoulder blades. Butterflies represent change. I am certainly doing that.

So, I'm 41. I still have my moments of whimsy. There are certain things I hope never change about me. Like letting my inner punk princess out to play occasionally. Enjoying slamming down shots of tequila with friends and partying like I'm 18. Being secure within myself, and wondering, now when the hell did that happen.

Enjoy being you.

Sexiness: What is it about really?

What makes someone sexy? Is it their appearance, who they are, what they do? Or can it be defined by money, the cars they drive? What makes a person sexy to another, and yet someone else would say "I don't think so."? Millions of people find stars sexy. Angelina Jolie comes to mind. Aside from her outer exterior, which as a female I can honestly say is pretty hot, what makes her so attractive? After all, she's just a woman except that her job keeps her in the limelight. What about the average Joanna Schmo down the street? Once you get past the outer packaging, what's the person about. I've met some phenomenally
good looking people, only to find out the inner them resembles a horrid little troll. Like biting into a beautiful piece of chocolate and finding a worm.

Sexiness is broken down in so many ways by so many people. For me it's not all about looks. It's about the inner person, their thoughts and views, how they treat others. Don't get me wrong, I like a pretty person but it's not the end all be all of who they are. Humor is important. I find humor sexy. Not everyone has the ability to make others laugh, and there's power in that. Intelligence is sexy. Stimulate my mind and and you will keep me listening. BTW- this is not a want ad for a date. I am happily married, he makes me laugh and is quite intelligent. He can cook too!!

Flirting can be sexy, but not sexual. I'll explain. I am a notorious flirt. I flirt with everyone and it has nothing to do with sex. Flirting makes people feel good, it makes them relaxed and easier to talk with. It's beyond "come hither & yon" looks and coy smiles. Flirting is an invitation to engage in conversation, to relax and allow some of your inner persona to shine . It's an art I try to perform daily. It can be a shared smile with a stranger about something you're both witnessing. Yes, men do this too whether they realize it or not. It's also a nice way to get your way without becoming a flat out bitch.

Sexiness is about knowing who you are, your place in your world and feeling good about it. It's not about makeup, clothes, or what you own. It's about acceptance of self, the good and the bad. We are not going to look like Angelina (bless her little heart), but we can shine like she does in our own way.


Be good to yourself.

Beowulf

I quite liked the movie. It did look like a very well done video game, but the story was very cool. And a warning as well: Be careful what you bargain for, as it's never what it seems. ***1/2

Natural disasters

Mother Nature in all her glorious wonder has her moments where I really feel She's channeling Kali, the Destroyer. England had an earthquake quite recently and I was surprised at that. I had no idea they got earthquakes. I guess it doesn't matter where you go in the world some sort of natural disaster is waiting to occur, whether it be floods, snow storm or hurricane.

I've lived in S. Florida for over 20 years. In that time we've had to batten down the hatches due to hurricanes. After Andrew hit Miami in the early 90's, no one messed around when we heard "We're under a hurricane watch". Lines out the door of food markets, home improvement stores were a given. People got serious very quickly. And then when nothing happened for a bit, people became complacent. So Mother Nature decided to let us know again just how destructive she could be. Two hurricanes hit a county north of us about an hour away and to the west of us on the west coast. She made those loop back around after everyone thought once again they were safe. Surprise!

Once again hurricane season rolled round and nothing happened for a bit until October of 2005. Everyone did their stockpiling and had dropped shutters or put up plywood. The night before was beautiful. Not a cloud in the sky. I thought, "We'll be safe again. No way is she going to hit us. It's so late in the season and it's rare when they come ashore then." We live approximately 10 miles on the east side of Florida. And Wilma was coming up through the Gulf. No way was it going to hit.

My husband, son & I are up early the next morning watching the news to check the status. At 7:10 am we hear the winds pick up and the lights flicker on and off. "No big deal", we think. Cha! Suddenly, no lights and the wind is howling. My patio doors even in lock down are shaking. One cat is under the bed, the other is stretched out on top taking a nap. I really wanted to join the one under the bed. Instead I went out on the patio, which has it's own large shutter, to get some air as it's stifling in the house. My son and I are out there talking, when we suddenly hear a train. Trust me when I tell you, this is not a good sign as that means Tornado and close by. We haul ass back into the house and now the train sounds like it's right over us. My son is very fearful of tornados and rightfully so. After a few minutes, the sound passes and the wind dies down.

My husband is out in the garage with the door open taking video of what has transpired so far. Not too bad we think after 2 hours of none stop wind and rain. We used to have a huge Black Olive tree on the east side of our house. My husband had gotten the video of it toppling over. So in the eye of the storm we go out to check around and see what's happened thus far. Everyones yards were stripped of any foliage and we had our tree lying from the corner of our house out into the street and into the neighbors yard across the street. The wind started to pick up again, so it was time to get back inside. Two more hours of rain and wind ensued.

Afterwards, no power. We had 2 weeks with no power. The sound of generators fills the air. One good thing is that the hurricane picked up all the hot surface air, so it was quite chilly for 2 weeks. I tried to drive to work a couple days later and wasn't able to make it through the debris. Had to take a shortcut and came across a trailer which had been flipped up and over onto it's neighbor. Scientists tried to say it was only a category 2 hurricane. No way! That was definitely a 3. So I made it through my first, and hopefully last hurricane. Chef Boyardee by candle light gets old very quickly, as do freezing cold showers. And living through enforced curfews sucks, but it's not as if anyone had anywhere to go anyway. The one redeeming factor with no lights is that the stars were beautiful. And they felt so close as if you could reach up and pluck one from the sky.

Natural disasters- there's nothing natural about them. In fact, they feel quite supernatural. It makes you contemplate and realize you are powerless in the face of the wrath of Mother Nature when she's throwing a tantrum.

Boredom kills

I am so bored. I'm usually very good at entertaining myself and keeping myself busy, but this enforced down time is driving me nuts.

I see by widget counter thingy that there are people visiting my page. Post some things to tell me how you combat boredom. And please don't tell me to read as I do that already. And I've watched terrible t.v. Speaking of, I watched the newest installment of the Highlander movies. I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!!! That's all I'm saying.

A-Z. All about me.

A
If you were an ANIMAL, what would you be?
Some sort of feline, of course.

B
BOOKS: What’s on your reading list?
I have almost 350 books on my tbr. There's no way I'm listing this. Check the Shelfari widget to the right.

C
COMPULSIVE about anything?
Reading and book buying. I look at it as research for my future business.

D
DREAMS - Do you … dream in color? remember your dreams? keep a dream journal?
I do dream, sometimes in color, sometimes in B & W. Sometimes I remember and no, I don't keep a journal.

E
EATING - what’s your usual snack?
Plain popcorn. My favorite food.

F
A Few of your FAVORITE Things
Books, shoes, italian food, the Japanese culture, my cat China Moon

G
GIGGLES! What (or who) makes you laugh? Do you have a good sense of humor?
My husband and sons make me giggle. I believe I have a good sense of humor, albeit, a bit dark. As in, It's only funny til someone loses an eye...then it's downright hysterical. That type of humor. Or I found Jesus...he was hiding behind the sofa.

H
major HOT Button:
Someone lying to me.

I
I am ______________
me. While consistent in some things, in others I am not as consistent. Mercurial by nature would be the best definition.

K
Also KNOWN As… Aliases? Screen names? A non de plume perhaps?
Helen

L
I LOVE …
my hubby, my boys, my cats, my friends, books, good shoes.

M
How do you feel about MEETING people? Do it all the time? Rarely? Parties or 1-on-1?
While I tolerate it for business, personally I prefer it online. I would like to me some of my online friends eventually if possible, but if not, it's all good.

N
What’s the story of your NAME? were you named after anyone? Do you go by a nickname? Any aliases?
I was named after Helen Keller. My father thought her a phenomenal woman, and I quite agree. Helena is my nickname from way back.

O
OBSERVANT - What’s around you right now? What do you see?
Some yowling cat that does not belong to me, my cat ChinaMoon, candles, the trees, my pool, my lappy, the sun. I am on my patio.

P
Who are the special PEOPLE in your life?
Family & the few close friends I have.

Q
Any Little QUIRKs About Yourself:
Yes. Don't touch my stuff. Don't look at my books or magazines until I'm done with them. Will not use public facilities.

R
What do you like to do for RECREATION?
Read, play Guitar Hero, read, bake, read, watch the Science channel, read, oh yes, and read some more. And shop Amazon for yet more things to read. I have an addiction.

S
Do You SING in the Shower? In the car? For your friends?
Yes.

T
What’s at the Top of your TO DO list?:
Not to make To Do Lists.

U
Any UNUSUAL Experiences:
My life is an unusual experience. I just try and enjoy it.

V
VEGAS, Vienna, Venice, Vladivostok… How far have you traveled? What’s your favorite City?
New York, New York. I've been twice for less than 24 hours each time. I want to go back and spend some time at the museums and see a couple plays.

W
WINTER, Spring, Summer, Fall… What’s your favorite season? What makes it special?
Fall. Nature at her most beautiful. When the Earth is getting ready for sleep and renewal. Days get darker sooner.

X
EXes - Things You Don’t Do Anymore (but did, once (would you, again?))
I used to bite my nails. A gross and terrible habit. No, I don't believe I'll do that again.

Y
Any secret/deep YEARNINGS?
To move and to work for myself. Which is not a secret, but is definitely a deep yearing.

Z
ZERO to ZENITH - Where are you in your life? Still growing? On an upward (or downward) curve? Just skating along?
Still growing, but stuck at the moment just skating along.

Men

So you thought my blog was completely about books. Nope. This particular post is about men. One in particular, but I'm going to generalize anyway. There is no way just my man can be this hard headed.

Let's start off with that horrible, horrible book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Pffft! Last time I checked, we were all from here. Don't give me b.s. reasons why men can't/won't/don't open up. I don't want to hear it. When we talk to them, they either ignore us, yes dear us to death or want to fix the problem. By the way, I loathe the word dear. It sets me off. That's a whole other rant. And most men don't buy into this either. My male friends laugh themselves silly when I bring up that book in conversation. Real men don't share their feelings. These are the same men who will say that is just not done by real men, and then slap each others asses at a pick up football game. Go figure...caveman mentality.

We see our man is upset. What's the matter, can I help, etc. And in return, we get- "I don't want to talk about it". Why not? "I'm effiing mad right now". Ok well talking about it might help to get it out, clear the air, get some composure perhaps.... maybe. "I don't want to talk about it". No, it's much easier to call up some unsuspecting person, vent your spleen on them, and then pout, grab your stuff and leave for 4-5 hours. Leaving me here to wonder- WTH? How difficult is to say "This made me mad or this person did this and it made me mad"? I always feel better when I rant about someone who's made me mad. I can say horrible things about them and then get on with my day.

Men- can live them, but only by their rules, can't live without them because who else can you get to look at your vehicle for free when it messes up.

I hate my blog space!!

It's so damn confining and found neat things I want to add and can't! I do not do html or things of that nature, so I have no idea how to fix this bloody page to get it the way I want. Arghhhhhh!!!!

2/11/07: Tried to move my blog over to Word Press and became completely annoyed. Yes, it's too much damn work, so I deleted it. While this may not have everything I want, at least ways it's easy to understand. Too many buttons gets me confused and pissed off.